What should I do if I’m stressed at work?

Stress at work isn’t just about having too much to do. Rather, it’s about how your mind and body react to numerous workplace triggers.

Let’s say you’re just checking your inbox and see an email from your boss with the subject line: Can we talk? What’s your immediate reaction? If you’re like most of my clients, their first response isn’t to be calm and curious. Instead, receiving an email like this can make their heart race while they overanalyze every possible reason for the message, imagining worst-case scenarios.

If you’re doing the same, this article will completely change how you view and manage these daily workplace stressors. While most people assume that stress will be reduced if they got a new job, had a different boss, or had less responsibilities, the truth is these external changes rarely lead to lasting stress reduction. Instead, managing stress starts from the inside.

If you’re wondering, how do you manage stress at work?, here are 5 impactful ways to help you feel more confident, in control, and at ease in your workday.

 

1. Before you can manage stress in the workplace, you need to understand it

Before you can fix workplace stress, it’s imperative that you know what is contributing to it. While it may seem like everything about work stresses you out, there’s most likely some very specific aspects which are triggering a stress response.

Here’s a few common triggers for workplace stress:

1. The workload: Are you drowning in never-ending tasks and responsibilities with unrealistic deadlines? Do you consistently work late?

2. The nature of the tasks: Have you outgrown the projects you’ve been working on? Do you feel bored or disinterested in your assigned duties?

3. Unclear communication: Are you often confused about expectations, frustrated by lack of transparency, or frustrated by re-doing work?

4. Bad management: Do you feel unsupported, micromanaged, or undervalued by your boss or upper management?

5. Boundaries being overstepped: Do you feel obligated to say “yes” to extra work, staying late, or doing work outside of regular hours?

6. Imposter syndrome: Are you questioning if you belong in your role, whether you’re as capable as other colleagues, or worthy of your position?

7. Toxic work culture: Do you feel conflicted in a work environment that doesn’t align with your values?

There are infinite possibilities for why you may be triggered into a stress response at work. Try keeping a log to jot down all the times when you find yourself spiraling into stress so you can get to the root. Approaching workplace stressors from this perspective will help you take targeted action rather than implementing vague solutions.

 

2. How to manage stress by setting boundaries (and sticking to them guilt-free)

Boundaries have a bad rap. Most people think of them as rules you set for others, and women (in particular) tend to view them as difficult to stick to. I want to help you completely revamp how you think and feel about boundaries.

First of all, the most important boundaries you can have are the ones within yourself. Boundaries are less about controlling others’ behavior and more about defining what you will accept, how you will respond, and what you will prioritize. Think of boundaries like a fence that you set up around yourself to protect your energy, mental well-being, and professional effectiveness.

One of the biggest reasons women in particular feel overwhelmed at work? Weak or nonexistent boundaries. In today’s world, it’s easier than ever to be overworked, overstimulated, overequested, and overextended. In fact you may feel like you’re on the verge of job burnout or burning it all down. So much is competing for your attention and everything appears to be a priority. With work deadlines stacked on top of personal and family demands, your nervous system doesn’t have the capacity to appropriately regulate itself.

 

So why do you say “yes” to things you know you don’t want to do?

Well, it’s simple. Your brain is wired to do so! Your subconscious doesn’t care if you’re happy. Its job is to keep you safe which means it will always default to what feels familiar, what’s easiest and comfortable. If it’s accustomed to always saying yes, and overriding what you truly want, then it’s become your brain’s auto-pilot response. You can change your auto-response by first, creating boundaries that align with your desires, and then intentionally redirecting your brain there every time you’re tempted to cross one of them.

Some example boundaries could be around:

Time: Saying no to last minute requests that disrupt your schedule, not checking email outside of work hours, taking your full lunch break without interruptions, or leaving work (or shutting down for the day) at your scheduled time.

Workload: Communicating when your plate is full instead of overcommitting, declining tasks that don’t align with your role, or asking for clarification on expectations before taking on new tasks.

Communication: Letting colleagues know when you’re available to meet, setting expectations around response times to emails and messages, or limiting your engagement in workplace gossip.

Emotional: Reminding yourself that you’re not responsible for everything, not being responsible for other people’s reactions to your boundaries, or choosing to view mistakes as growth rather than indulge in self-criticism.

When you set up boundaries (and maintain them) others are able to have less influence on your world and internal peace. You’re human and your boundaries will inevitably get crossed at some time or another. When you do cross a boundary, meet yourself with compassion, and figure out what you want to do next time instead.

Strong boundaries don’t make you difficult. They make you effective.

 

3. Practice Nonviolent Communication (NVC) in the workplace

Stress at work isn’t just about tasks, it’s also about interactions. Whether it’s a difficult boss, a demanding client, or a coworker who doesn’t pull their weight, communication challenges can trigger stress responses.

We’ve all taken part in violent communication in one way or another. And no, I’m not referring to physical violence. Violent communication is any form of communication that results in disconnection, whether through passive-aggressive behavior, blaming others, or being dismissive of another person’s feelings.

Nonviolent Communication, known as NVC, was created by Marshall B. Rosenberg, who identified a specific approach to communicating (speaking and listening) that leads us to give from the heart. It connects us with ourselves and with each other in a way that allows our natural compassion and purpose of being in service to flourish.

This model requires great honesty and openness, which can feel like learning a new language (especially at work!) as most humans are deeply ingrained in making judgments and evaluations. We also have a history of feeling reward, punishment, obligation, or fear in relationships if we do or don’t do a request. This is why when conflict arises, most people tend to ignore it or brush it under the rug. Unfortunately, this approach leads to feelings like confusion, resentfulness and anger.

NVC guides you to reframe how you express yourself and hear others. Instead of being habitual, automatic reactions, NVC slows you down to ensure your words become conscious responses based firmly on an awareness, feeling and wanting. It helps you express your needs clearly without aggression or avoidance and is based on 4 key steps.

The 4 Parts of NVC

1. OBSERVATION: Observe the situation without evaluating or judging. A pure observation is without comparison to the past.

2. FEELING: Identify a feeling. Feelings are always related to your body, and never involve others or what others are doing to us.

3. NEEDS: Identify your need or desire. A basic need is always about oneself, not about another, and is always a basic human quality.

4. REQUEST: Formulating a request or stating an action. Phrase a specific request positively. Speak kindly, but firmly and clearly, without unnecessary emotion such as sarcasm.

Example:

🚫 “You never listen to my ideas in meetings.”

✅ “I noticed my suggestions weren’t addressed in the last few meetings. I feel overlooked when that happens. I need to know my contributions are valued. Could we make sure all ideas are acknowledged before moving on?”

Great leadership is centered on transparent communication, especially when conflict arises. Even if you aren’t in a leadership role you can start practicing this now. It’s a skill that will benefit every aspect of your life.

 

4. Put your expectations in check

Are you constantly pushing yourself to give more than 100%? Going above and beyond, even when it’s not sustainable? Do you hold yourself to impossible expectations and overextend yourself at the cost of your well-being?

Most of my clients are high-functioning overachievers. They’re often driven by the pressure to prove their worth and therefore they juggle multiple responsibilities, while overdelivering, and hold themselves to impossibly high standards, usually self-imposed. But no one can operate 110% all the time without consequences.

Many of these tendencies stem from what I refer to as the 9 P’s: Procrastinator, Pathfinder, Pretender, People Pleaser, Provider, Peacekeeper, Perfectionist, Producer, and Protector. These are patterns of behavior that contribute to burnout and overwork. They may have served you well at one time, but over relying on them may be leading you to feeling exhausted, resentful and chronically stressed.

Want to see which of the 9 coping mechanisms you’ve been falling back on? Click here to grab your free 9 Ps Self-Assessment PDF.

It may be time for you to reset your expectations. This doesn’t mean lowering your ambition or standards, but redefining what success looks like to you so that it’s sustainable.

Consider:

• What does giving 100% mean to you? Does it mean working late every night, or does it mean delivering high-quality work while also protecting your well-being?
• Where are you taking on more than your fair share? Are you the one who always picks up the slack, volunteers first, or absorbs extra responsibilities?
• How can you start protecting your time? What tasks or commitments can you delegate, decline, or de-prioritize?

True success isn’t about constantly pushing harder. It’s about working smarter, honoring your limits, and ensuring that your best effort doesn’t come at the expense of your health. By adjusting your expectations and reinforcing boundaries, you create more space for growth, creativity, and fulfillment, without burning out in the process.

 

5. Build in Breaks to Regulate Your Nervous System

Most of us weren’t taught as a child how to regulate our nervous system, and you may not have even heard of the concept. But understanding how your body responds to stress is a game-changer.

When your nervous system perceives safety, you remain in a relaxed state. In this state, you think clearly, take aligned action, and activate your prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain responsible for creativity, problem-solving, strategic thinking, imagination, and clarity. These are the exact tools you need to excel at work, navigate challenges, and handle setbacks.

But when your nervous system perceives a threat (such as a passive-aggressive email, a last minute deadline, or critical feedback), it triggers one of 3 survival responses:

• Fight: A rush of energy, face flushing, feeling angry, defensive, reactive, ready to confront a perceived threat.
• Flight: The urge to escape, avoid, withdraw, mentally or physically checking out.
• Freeze: Feeling stuck, numb, immobilized, unable to take action, disconnecting from the moment.

These responses happen automatically and subconsciously. You don’t choose to have your heart race, your muscles tense, or your adrenaline spike. If you’re constantly in a dysregulated state, you might find yourself one email, one piece of feedback, or one unexpected challenge away from feeling completely overwhelmed. All your energy is being used to cope rather than thrive, making it hard to focus, set boundaries, or feel confident in your work.

The key to shifting from survival to thriving is nervous system regulation. The window of tolerance is a concept originally developed by Dr. Dan Siegel, MD to describe the range in which your nervous system functions optimally so that when you’re operating inside this window you feel calm, focused, and are more capable of effectively handling life’s challenges.

To expand your window and build resilience, try incorporating these techniques throughout your workday:

• Breathwork: Try box breathing (inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4).
• Grounding exercises: Notice five things you see, hear, and feel to return to the present moment.
• Movement breaks: Stretch, walk, dance, or do a few yoga poses to release tension.
• Cold exposure: Splash cold water on your face or hold an ice cube to activate the calming parasympathetic response.
• Laughter & connection: Chat with a friend or watch a funny video to shift your energy.

 

What does a regulated nervous system look like at work?

When your nervous system is regulated, you have a greater capacity to handle stress without spiraling. Here’s how a regulated response might look in common workplace situations:

• Instead of snapping at a coworker after a frustrating meeting, you take a deep breath and respond calmly.
• Instead of panicking over a last-minute deadline, you pause, assess what’s possible, and communicate realistic expectations.
• Instead of shutting down after critical feedback, you acknowledge your emotions, process the information, and take constructive action.

Even micro-breaks of 1-2 minutes can help reset your system and prevent burnout. The more you practice regulating your nervous system the more capacity you’ll have to handle workplace stress.

 

Should I quit my job if I’m stressed?

Quitting your job is one option and it may be necessary depending on your circumstances. If you are experiencing any kind of abuse, then absolutely, you need an exit strategy. But, changing how you respond internally to stress will serve you better in the long run, rather than relying on your external environment to change. You can thrive when you change your relationship to stress. When you understand what’s stressing you out, set clear boundaries, adjust your expectations, use compassionate communication, and increase your window of tolerance, you can manage stress without running yourself into the ground.

Try implementing just one of these strategies this week, and notice how much lighter you feel. You’ve got this!

RELATED: I Don’t Want to Work Anymore

 

Feeling stressed and drained at work? Here’s your next step.

Feeling stressed and drained at work? Here’s your next step.Workplace stress isn’t just about long hours or demanding deadlines. It’s often rooted in deeper patterns that keep you overworked, overwhelmed, and exhausted.

Want to break free from the stress cycle?

Click here to grab your free 9 Ps Self-Assessment PDF to…

• Pinpoint the exact patterns contributing to your burnout. Discover which of the 9 P’s is showing up in your daily life and how it’s draining your energy.
• Understand how these patterns affect your career, relationships, and well-being. Uncover the specific ways these behaviors manifest, so you can see the bigger picture of what’s holding you back.
• Gain practical insights into breaking free from the cycle. Identify steps to shift these patterns, reclaim your energy, and find more alignment in your life.
• Start feeling energized, confident, and purposeful again. By understanding your burnout triggers, you’ll be empowered to create meaningful change and live a more fulfilling life.

You don’t have to accept stress and survival mode as your norm. Start taking action today as your future is created by your present action or inaction. Cheers to cultivating a career and life you love!