This is a little humbling to admit, but I used to be super judgmental.

Not in an obvious, mean-spirited way. Just in the way I saw everything, good or bad, right or wrong. Constant evaluating. Rarely leaving room for the gray.

How My Environment Shaped My Perspective

During the pandemic, I moved back to my hometown. I was 39 weeks pregnant.

Suddenly, I was hearing my old inner voice all around me:

Constant complaining
Endless criticism
Little jabs about how people lived, dressed, ate, parented.

My mom would point out what could be better. What I was doing wrong. Where I was falling short.

And for a while, I didn’t question it. It just felt normal. Because that was the environment I was raised in.

The Wake-Up Call

The more I tried to push through, the worse it felt.

Until one day, I realized:
Sometimes, it’s not that you’re off course, it’s that the timing isn’t right yet.

And if you ignore that truth, burnout is inevitable.

Meeting Someone Who Modeled Grace

A year later, I really got to know my mother-in-law, and y’all, she was like this soft, fairy human.

She never gossiped.
Never belittled people.
Never tore anyone down to feel better about herself.

When my mom would say, “This tastes bland,” my MIL would smile and say, “Mmm. Thank you for cooking, Emily, this is so nourishing.”

When my mom warned, “You’re too soft with your kids, you’re going to spoil them,” I’d see my MIL playing hide-and-seek with my toddlers, giggling on the floor.

When my mom said, “You don’t know how to cook that? It’s so easy,” my MIL would offer, “Can I teach you? I’ll write it down so you can make it again for Ryan.”

She offered grace, to others and to herself.

Realizing Where My Judgment Came From

And suddenly, I could see the stark contrast.

This was why I judged everything:

My work
My relationships
Other people
Myself

I wasn’t just critiquing others, I was critiquing my entire life. Every conversation, every email, every decision felt like a pass/fail test.

It wasn’t until I got distance from that environment, and went through my own coaching certification that I started softening my lens.

One major key to unlocking my joy? Learning that not everything needs a grade.

If You’re Stuck in Self-Criticism

If you’re in a season of judgment or self-criticism, I get it. You might not even realize where it came from. It could be the water you were raised in.

But you don’t have to stay there.

Here’s a small shift to try:

Pause when you notice yourself judging: a stranger on the internet, a coworker’s tone, a decision you made last week.
Ask: “What would grace sound like right now?”
Play with giving people, and yourself, the benefit of the doubt.

It’s not about becoming a doormat. It’s about becoming free.

That’s where joy grows, in the gray, the soft, the non-binary.

🎥 Watch: The Full Story

This video might be the gentle reminder you didn’t even know you needed right now. In this episode, titled “The Hidden Type of Burnout Nobody Talks About,” I explore misalignment burnout, that slow, quiet erosion that comes from living out of sync with your values, not from overworking.

Here’s what you’ll discover when you hit play:

How misalignment burnout isn’t sudden, it’s the result of doing what no longer feels right for too long
Why this disconnect can drain you even when everything looks “fine” on the outside
How to spot the patterns, like people-pleasing, perfectionism, or playing safe, that keep you stuck in misalignment
The first real steps you can take right now to begin aligning with your truth again

I promise this episode doesn’t just explain burnout, it helps you see why it happens and how to begin shifting.

👉 Click here to watch the full video on YouTube.

P.S. If a part of this video resonates with you (that “aha” moment), I’d love to hear which. Comments are welcome!

✨ Soul Prompt:

If you weren’t afraid of losing momentum, what would you let go of right now?

That might just be the first step toward realignment.

Ready to feel seen and supported?

(I promise it’s the soul pep talk you didn’t know you needed.)

💌 Sunday Soul Letters

If this topic hits home, I’d love for you to join me for future reflections like this in Sunday Soul Letters. My weekly newsletter where I share honest, unfiltered thoughts on burnout, identity, clarity, and living from alignment.

Because you deserve a life that feels as good as it looks.

With all my heart,
Emily

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